Christmas Spam

Good mornin' y'all! Hope all 1.28 of my regular readers had a fabbo Christmas, or a similar experience.

This morning I sliced into my annual can -o- Christmas SPAM. Carefully. With 150% of your daily fat (and probably 375% of your daily sodium) in each can this is not something to take lightly. Take the time to enjoy the process because once this stuff hits your heart it may be the last thing you see. Relish in the embryonic and mysterious SPAM jelly, immerse yourself in the sizzling on the skillet (NEVER microwave SPAM. Never taunt SPAM (or Happy Fun Ball).) (How's THAT for punctuation?). Savor each bit, pehaps enhances with a bit of scrambled egg or toast with your favorite jelly (although I don't recommend SPAM jelly... WAIT! Maybe that's what the stuff is for! But alas, I am not that brave to spread the gelatinous goo on my toast even though it may be nirvana and open up the secret of life). (Am I using too many of these? I've been up since 5:00.)

Um, that's it. No more. Go home. Drink some coffee. Nothing more to see here... move along.