Yeah, it's about that time again... time that I find another series with which to occupy my time and give me a reason to write, no matter how triffling. And so, being sent permanently home to work (they closed my physical office) I decided to see if I could find the best pizza in my zip code. It turns out there were only a couple in my zip code so I expanded it to the immediate area, just because I'm nice that way.
As with the Great Gravy Adventure (post-named) I need to come up with some criteria, which shall become apparent as I ramble on. Plus I'm sure it will change as I think of more things. In fact, I've already had regrets on my first pie. Well, the very first regret was the pizza place itself. Pizza King. Next to Little Caesars, this is the place I most dread. I've only been to Pizza King a few times in my life and I've been disappointed every time. But for you, dear reader, I shall soldier on.
Why start low? Now there's (almost) no place to go but up! Plus I had a coupon! Yes, part of my criteria is to get the cheapest pizza they have on special and see how they all stack up. Pizza King had an 8" PIZZA FEAST for $7.09 (plus tax, of course). If possible my intent is to get a small size pizza from each place with half pepperoni and half sausage but apparently the Pizza Feast is a supreme. No biggie... I've liked supreme pizzas ever since I started paying on a mortgage. For the record, a small (10") one topping pizza would have been $8.69.
I ordered at 12:20 and was put "on hold" for three minutes, meaning the guy set the phone down and took care of someone in the store. The order was then taken and it was indeed ready 15-20 minutes later. I think he was the only employee working. Did I mention that this particular Pizza King is half of a gas station so it's small? I mean, uck from the outside but inside the place was actually very nice and you wouldn't know you were sharing a roof with a petrol dispensery.<
When he brough
t my pizza at first I thought it was a joke. I mean, I knew it was 8" but it seemed much smaller than that.
Of course I had my handy dandy l'il scale. Press the Tare button, later subtract the weight of the packaging, and you have a pizza weight of 11.3 ounces. Just... 11.3 ounces... for seven bucks. A Tombstone pizza is $3 and it's durned near 21 ounces... but it's just a frozen pizza. However a Freschetta, on sale for $5, is 26 ounces and I KNOW that's good. Alright, Pizza King, show me what you've got.
Looks like what you've got comes up a little short. I was hard pressed to find a measurement of 8" so once again, disappointment reigns at Pizza King.
In my shock I forgot to take an unobscured picture of the pizza so this, and the next photo, will have to do. So let's talk about this pizza... the crust was crunchy, though it did have some chewy bits. Honestly it was like a Jeno Party Pizza. The sauce was underwhelming, like it wanted to have flavor but just didn't know how. The amount of toppings was quite good and they kept up to their motto of "good to the edge", or at least they had toppings to the edge. But this also gave it a Party Pizza vibe... not a good thing. As for the flavor of the toppings, well, like everything about this pizza it just seemed to fall a bit short. Maybe it I had put some garlic powder on top or parmesan cheese or even some salt it would have fared better. 'Tis a pity.
As for the "Feast", I ate the entire thing on my short drive home and immediately made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. If I spend $7.66 on lunch I'd better be blown away by the flavor or I'd better be very full. It's probably a good thing I didn't end up with a larger pizza because then I'd have made myself eat the entire unsatisfactory thing, which would have led to further regret.
So how about those stats?
Pizza King, I hereby dub thee THE KING OF DISAPPOINTMENT! I wouldn't be surprised if even Little Ceasers scores better.
