Review - Those Darned Accordions - Amped

Oh accordion, how do I love thee? Well, apparently not much because mine hasn't been released from it's case in over a year. Other bands with accordions include They Might Be Giants and Stolen Babies, a very diverse club.

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Brandishing their accordions like really blocky frontal birth defects attached to their sternums, Those Darn Accordions are back with yet another album of squeezebox mayhem. Be warned: these are not Wisconsin accordionists. There are no polkas on this platter, just six tasty rock songs that just happen to use this much-maligned instrument. In addition to the trinity of accordions, there's a solid foundation of bass and drums that really propel the songs along. Going with the theme, this time around the songs are harder and the lyrics, while still humorous, are not outright silly, which helps make this less of a novelty album than their past releases. "Mr. Slagle's Revenge" is from the adult viewpoint of someone who blew off school. Now as he performs low-paying, menial jobs he can hear his shop teacher laughing at him. Here the accordion is put through a wah pedal, giving it a very un-accordionesque sound. You an also find the answer to the "Meaning of Life", which is essentially "Just getting' up and doin' stuff and goin' back to bed." "Enter The Douser" is about the ultimate killjoy. As I listened to this song, I found myself getting out the liner notes, thinking, "I wonder who the guitarist is… I don't remember seeing a guitarist listed in the credits… and where are my pants?" That's because there is none… guitarist, that is (the pants were on the davenport.) Those clever bellow-squeezers fed an accordion through a series of stomp boxes, creating a very guitar-sounding tone and a couple of killer "guitar" solos. No TDA album would be complete without cover songs and "Magic Carpet Ride" is the first target. The original had lots of early, wheezy rock organs and it's amazing how perfectly this translates to the accordion. The other cover is "Making Our Dreams Come True", the theme from Laverne & Shirley, played and sung in true garage band form by the two female accordionists of the band. As usual, TDA push the boundaries of what respectable folk expect from the accordion. Their use of various guitar effects is truly amazing, giving the album a broad array of aural tones. With only six tracks on this EP, it's regrettably short. However, exhaustive research and market testing has shown that for most people, seventeen minutes is the longest they can listen to the accordion, even if it does sound like a warped seventies guitar. You can search the mall for years looking for this respite from life's daily grind, or you can go to www.thosedarnaccordions.com and have it delivered to your door.

This review first appeared in WhatzUp, November 2001.

Review - Those Darned Accordions - clownhead

I sure do loves me some Those Darned Accordions. But in moderation. Maybe if these blokes and blokettes were in Mexico where accordions are king then they would be living an a squeezebox shaped palace but here in America they are not given the honor they deserve.

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As a burgeoning young accordion player, how could I resist a band that boasts of having six accordion players? As clownhead spun the first track, "They Came For Accordions", an eerie sci-fi tale of an alien invasion, replete with otherworldly sounds and a solid drum and bass groove, it was quickly obvious that this was not a polka-fest. "Wall of Gum" is a slow rap about a man named Lloyd who ventured too close to Bubble Gum Alley. "Lapis Lazuli" is a tango-flavored instrumental that fits the voice of the accordion quite nicely while "I Think About Stuff" is a swanky, strolling song about, well, stuff. Octogenarian tattoo-covered Clyde Forsman croons "First Bratwurst of Summer" with it's rousing chorus of "BEER! BEER! BEER!", a song that manages to perfectly capture the feeling of a summer picnic. The question of who accordion players pick on is answered in my personal favorite, "Hippie With A Banjo" with lyrics such as "Now I've been to a dentist with a very dull drill/ Hammered on my gums, I remember it still/ …But nothing compares to the pain I feel/ When I hear the twang of those strings of steel" and "Just when I thought this was the worst that I seen/ Here comes his girlfriend with a tambourine." Good stuff! True to their past albums, they include two accordion "enhancements" of classic rock songs. Past albums included Do You Think I'm Sexy (sung by 84-year old Clyde), Stairway to Heaven and even Also Spracht Zarathustra (the theme to 2001). This time around they tackled "Low Rider" by War and Devo's "Uncontrollable Urge". Surprisingly, you would think that the Devo song would fit this medium better but it is the weaker of the two. "Low Rider" kills.

Overall, Those Darn Accordions! do a fairly good job of avoiding the novelty album stigma when an album grows stale after two or three listens and you've heard all the jokes. Here, the songs are melodic, well written and the humor is more subtle than just a series of one-liners. And fear not, while one would think that a band with six accordion players, a drummer, and a bassist would produce music completely saturated in accordion sound, I found this not to be true. The bass and drums provide a solid foundation and usually only a few accordions play at the same time, each with different parts and timbres, giving a full but not busy sound. With strong songs such as these, it's easy to see why their fans include Drew Carey, Penn and Teller, and now this humble accordionist.

This review first appeared in WhatzUp, March 2000.