Music Review - David T. Chastain - Rock Solid Guitar

I have absolutely no memory of this album. I don't remember if I bought it or if it was provided by a record company. It's not even listed in my CD database. How much coffee did I drink during the period of my life where I was writing two or three reviews a week just to make ends meet?

Like most adolescent boys growing up in the mid-eighties, I was drawn to superstar guitar players like Eddie Van Halen, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani and Yngwie Malmsteen, technically astounding musicians that could make the guitar burst into flames with a mere touch. There always seemed to be a steady stream of "the next greatest", some hotshot kid on a poorly distributed independent label that Tim at the Wooden Nickel Collectors store would tenaciously track down if you had the money and the patience. One name that often surfaced in these lists of guitar greats, and one that never presented itself when I had available funds or patience, is David Chastain. Now that the testostertone no longer courses through my veins at levels high enough to grow facial hair on a smurf, I finally have a chance to hear this guitar legend. While it is my understanding that many of his past releases are intense, hyper-fast experiences in shredding, Rock Solid Guitar is nine tracks of good old-fashioned mid-tempo, kick-back-with-a-beer blues based rock and roll. Presented in a bare bones bass (Steven Taylor), drums (Mike Haid) and lone, non-overdubbed guitar (Kramer… as played by Chastain), the nine tracks allow Chastain to showcase his improvisational skills. For the most part, these instrumentals were recorded with little planning, allowing the power-trio to perform as the music came to them. While sticking to the blues-based rock sound, there is still quite a bit of variety. For instance, "Keeper Of Tomorrow" integrates Haids jazz fusion background with the blues guitar, creating some great opportunities for soloing. "Hats Off to Angus and Malcom" is, of course, a tribute to the music of AC/DC and appropriately is full of bad boy boogie. Sporting some really great guitar tones, "Riding In Style" is a straight-ahead blues rocker in the manner of Stevie Ray Vaughn. Speaking of Steve's, Steve Vai also gets the nod on "Sounds Cool To Me", a slower track that allows Chastain to explore some hard rock territory. And what rock album would be complete without a rousing song about the weekend? "Getting A Little Crazy", with its "Saturday night in a small club" feel, definitely fits the bill. All told, this sizzling release showcases the talents of one of rock's most talented guitarists with nine hot instrumentals guaranteed to satisfy your rock blues cravings.

This review first appeared in WhatzUp, November 2001.

Music Review - Buckethead - Somewhere Over the Slaughterhouse

I remember enjoying Giant Robot but not as for Somewhere Over The Slaughterhouse, er, not so much.

I really enjoyed last years re-release of Buckethead's Giant Robot which took eighties instrumental metal guitar and mixed it with a bizarre bucket of disjointed parts to create a bewildering theme park ride. I later read where Buckethead, this shadowy figure who plays his sizzling guitar with an expressionless white mask and a chicken bucket on his head, had become the newest guitarist for Gun's N Roses. This is sure to confuse longtime GNR fans as this virtuoso misfit is no "sweet child" in any conformist's dictionary. For instance, Buckethead once auditioned for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. When he arrived he admitted that he had never heard any of their albums and only knew a few songs... by title only.

This latest solo release, Some Where Over the Slaughterhouse is a mix of dark and white meat. A few of the songs (well, compositions actually as there are no lyrics) are very good, churning metal guitar with drum loops and unearthly keyboard sounds. For instance, "Help Me" finds this same vocal loop repeated at various points in the song while a rave-induced drum track duels with a particularly nasty rhythm guitar through a variety of cat and mouse scenarios. Likewise, "Pin Bones and Poultry" is an actual composition with a variety of themes in a thought-out arrangement of guitars and wigged-out keyboards. The second half of the album, however, is more similar to the experimental music of Sonic Youth or repetitive video game music. "You Like Headcheese?" begins with an organ and flute intro before becoming what sounds like three minutes of Buckethead playing with a drum machine. In "Wires and Clips" it's almost as if someone plugged Buckethead into a guitar synth, hit record and later decided to overdub some drum machine loops decided by rolling dice. Have you ever wanted to listen in as a guitarist works on writing a song? Check out "Conveyer Belt Blues", a celtic-derived acoustic based heavily on a single simple theme. Maybe playing in such as "accepted" band as GNR has driven Buckethead to become more experimental on his solo albums... maybe he's finally cracked. The good tracks on this album remind me why I love this guy's music... he teeters on the edge of sanity, the electric guitar buzzing away making unnatural noises, and you wonder if he'll fall off the edge. With this album, it looks like he finally has.

This review first appeared in WhatzUp, August 2001.

Music Review - Buckethead - Giant Robot

Buckethead is one weird dude. I should give this one another listen!

Available for the first time in the U.S. is the 1994 sci-fi rock classic Giant Robot by the anonymous shredder known as Buckethead (who paints his face white and wears a chicken bucket on his head). Buckethead has played with Iggy Pop, Bootsy Collins (both of whom appear on this album), Primus, John Zorn, George Clinton, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, just to name a very few. A past reviewer for WhatzUp panned a Buckethead album, claiming that it was all flash (he is a guitarist so I suspect he's a bit jealous) but I found quite a bit of substance in Giant Robot, albeit very bizarre substance not known to humankind. Stylistically, expect everything from raw Sabbath power riffs to Zappa meets Malmsteen metal licks that suddenly swoop into heartrending symphonic passages complete with a real string section. Each infectiously wacky track is a melodic instrumental, soundtracks for extreme rides at his imaginary theme park Bucketheadland, though strange cinematic episodes appear between and within many of the pieces. A small example: "Of course we have wax horse teeth, what kind of operation do you think we're running here?"

There is a sci-fi/comic book theme of battling giant robots (this was originally released in Japan) and the associated unique noises, not to mention the robot voice singing "Pure Imagination" from the movie Willie Wonka. Fans of Randy Rhodes-style guitar will find a lot to enjoy of this album with the dazzling "Welcome to BucketheadLand" and the Cheap Trick pop feel of "Binge and Grab." Then there's the grinding guitar riffs of "I Come In Peace" where a giant Buckethead Robot riffs through the city, destroying chicken restaurants with his giant guitar. "I Love My Parents" lends a soft moment to this "film" with a beautiful, touching melody carried by acoustic guitar and string section, but this doesn't last long because the ride soon plummets into the Primus-tinged bass mania of "Robot Transmission." The album ends with the melancholy "Last Train to BucketheadLand" with a conductor pointing out the various rides while he slowly loses touch with reality. Buckethead is seriously cracked, which is why I heartily recommend this album to fans of Primus, Mr. Bungle, Zappa, and general seekers of unique musical experiences.

This review first appeared in WhatzUp, November 2000.

Music Review - Phil Keaggy - Lights of Madrid

A decade+ later, this album remains one of Keaggy's career highlights.

In my mind, Phil Keaggy is one of the most inconsistent artists around. His albums range from timeless classics (Beyond Nature, Sunday's Child) to albums so bland they only received a few spins (True Believer comes quickly to mind and just as quickly is forgotten). His latest album, Lights of Madrid, happily falls into the former group with over an hour of compelling, well-crafted acoustic guitar instrumentals that span genres, techniques, and moods. As you may have guessed from the album title, many, but not all, of the pieces show a Spanish influence. Those familiar with Spanish classical guitar will not be disappointed as Phil very capably tackles the legato scales and technical playing required for this genre. Those familiar with Keaggy himself already know that he is a guitar player's guitar player with amazing technical skills, virtuoso skills which often take backstage to the melody and the structure of the song. His best work marries the two, as is evidenced here.

The title track is, of course, very Spanish with an upbeat, catchy rhythm, excellent backing percussion, and a memorable melody that is worked into the amazing guitar playing. In stark contrast is the peaceful "A Field of Flowers" which is simply two acoustic guitars, a cello, and a beautifully emotive melody that would have fit perfectly on the phenomenal Beyond Nature. "Allgeria" consists of many layers of guitars, orchestral strings, and keyboards as a single melody is pursued by each. By combining contemporary songwriting with Hayden-era classical, Keaggy wrote the nine-minute "Overture" for acoustic guitar and chamber orchestra. Here the guitarist has created an amazingly mature classical composition with solid pacing and development of ideas, definitely on par or better than any classical piece written by his hero, Sir Paul McCartney. I could listen to music like this all day... and frequently have since this CD came into my possession. The album closes, aptly, with the return of the Spanish-themed "Caliente", energetic dance music with some ripping xylophone!

The huge variety of tone colors, instrumentation, and melody makes this album so much more than an hour of naked acoustic guitar. If you order now, you'll get an enhanced CD that actually makes sense! Embedded in this CD are detailed tablature transcriptions of twelve of the fifteen tracks, complete with lead and rhythm parts with the solos painstakingly written out. Even without this bonus, however, this album is the best thing Phil Keaggy has written in nearly a decade: an instant classic for guitar freaks and lovers of quality music alike.

This review first appeared in WhatzUp, April 2001.

The Worlds Most Expensive Vegetables Part 2

Was there gardening done this weekend? Oh yeah!

For starters, I needed raised beds. Well, more like wanted due to the advantages, per my dad, such as it's easier to work in them, the soil warms up faster so you get better and faster yields, and the height keeps the critters at bay. I've seen three different flavors of critters 'round my house and all need to keep away from my vittles! The question then becomes how long? How tall? Made out of what? Cinder blocks last forever but look ugly. There's all kinds of fear mongering concerning treated lumber and chemicals leaching into the food. And that's when I stumbled upon roofing sheet metal.

Menards has the stuff and it would cost me about $55 for the metal, plus the cost of treated 2X4s for the frame and wood for a ledge to sit on 'cause no one wants to put their keister on a razor thin (well, 22 gauge) slice of metal. But there's a problem. Having worked with the stuff for twenty-five years I'm completely comfortable with wood. But stone? Tile? Linoleum? Carpet? I'm a newbie. The same goes double for metal and it's sharp edges. Just thinking about making the necessary cuts gave me mental images of sliced fingers and palms.

So I called a few local metal working places to see what they would charge to make these very few cuts. I figured that someone with the right equipment could slice right through in about five minutes, probably less based on the metal cutting videos on YouTube. I'm cheap but would gladly pay $20 for such a convenience. No one was interested... too small of a job. I then turned my attention to Craigslist and got a quick reply! The guy wanted $140 to make two length-wise cuts on each of three pieces of metal. I decided that I'd buy the $10 metal cutting blade for my circular saw and try it myself, politely telling the guy thanks but no thanks. He responded with something along the lines of "When you screw it up, let me know and I'll come out and fix it for you." Even if I mess it up I won't be contacting a jerk like that.

So with my fear and trepidation I changed out the blade in the circular saw and began cutting, remembering to wear eye and ear protection but forgetting to wear long sleeves. There was smoking, there were sizzling red hot edges, the saw blade warped and had to cool until in unwarped but in the end I was able to make all the necessary cuts in about one hour and with no bodily injuries. Take THAT Craigslist jerk!

Attaching the 2X4 legs wasn't too difficult. I used a combination of galvanized roofing nails and exterior screws. The legs themselves only extend two inches into the ground as I figure once these are filled with dirt they aren't going anywhere. In putting them together I took great pains to make sure that they were lined up with the existing onion bed. I wasn't really thinking about making sure the sides were straight up and down. Oops. Because the side legs aren't exactly plumb the 4" wide topper boards aren't quite up to the task so I'll be replacing these with 6" boards soon and no one will know of the err in my ways. Unless they read this and look closely at the pictures.

The urgent item to get in, three weeks before LFD (Last Frost Date) is the first planting of romaine lettuce and the spinach. Because half of this planter will house carrots that need the full depth of the planter and because my soil provider is still AWOL I had to once again go buy dirt. But it's lettuce so I didn't need to fill the bed, hence the cobbled together mid-section wall made of pieces left over from the construction of a bed for my daughter. Cardboard on the bottom topped with a mixture of garden dirt, peat moss, and bagged composted manure and I'm in business!

So what am I out for this week's adventures?

$55 - sheet metal (for three 10' X 4' raised beds)
$20 - 9 treated 2X4s (makes three)
$12 - 3 10' X 4' boards (makes one) $10 - 2 10' X 6' boards to cover up my mistake
$1 - .75 cu ft manure
$7 - 6 plastic bags o' dirt
$2 - seeds
$10 - metal cutting blade

That makes a whopping total of $117! However each raised bed, sans dirt, will cost around $42 and should last until I'm too arthritic to garden.

Lesson Learned: Don't be a jerk if you offer services on Craigslist.

Music Review - Alice Cooper - Love It To Death

There are some who remark on the drastic change between the sloppy psychedelic album Easy Action and the sharp pop-rock of Love It To Death but there really is no mystery. For Love It To Death a young newbie producer with a love for the dramatic by the name of Bob Ezrin was brought in to work with the band. I consider this to be a brilliant move equal to matching The Beatles with George Martin. Ezrin not only helped the band reign in their songwriting style but also helped them infuse a more theatrical style into their work. He also made them practice. A lot. Those who never really learn a skill just think that it happens, that some people "have it." What these people "have" is a discipline to practice. So while the members of the Alice Cooper Band had formerly practiced enough to be competent on their instruments, they likely not had the focused, intentional kind of practice necessary to get to that next level. The same goes for songwriting, where you go from "good enough" to "killer." To that end, Ezrin made this already pretty good band practice like it was a 40-hour work week, much like The Beatles slogged it out at The Cavern.

Was the result worth it? Oh yeah!

"Caught in a Dream" is the autobiographical story of the band reaching for fame, "trying to catch a ride in a Cadillac." A severely overlooked and underrated song, coming as it does right before "I'm Eighteen", it's got a great guitar hook. "I'm Eighteen" continues the slightly western vibe, adding in harmonica. I've heard this song hundreds of times and it's still solid, even if it isn't one of my favorites. "Long Way To Go" has a loopy bass line and dueling lead guitars but somehow fails to fully connect. In "Black Juju" the band feeds its prog-rock desires, slowly building the song for nine minutes, layering organs and dark guitar chords. However where on the first two albums the longer tracks often seem to lose their way, "Black Juju" stays on track, growing and teasing instead of filling time*. As an added bonus there are definitely hints (or theft) of Pink Floyd's "Interstellar Overdrive" and a serious nod to The Doors. I’ve never been a fan of “Is It My Body.” Musically and lyrically it just seems off plus it just seems weird to have Alice trying to find out if the listener just wanting his body, like he’s some kind of beefcake, or if they want to get to know the real him. Silly stuff.

Now onto the classic song cycle! “Hallowed By My Name” belies Furniers “religious” upbringing. Organs, gritty guitars, Furnier’s vocal snarl and a non-traditional rock beat make for an enjoyable yet angst-inducing listen, making a great appetizer for the courses to follow. Following a guitar lead in, the “Second Coming” is initially somber with sparse piano and confusing lyrics of hell, the devil and angels. Is the song about Christ? A black magic zombie from Black Juju? Has Alice ever weighed in on this? The song grows to an expectant militant instrumental passage, the piano slowly growing in volume until the main course, “Ballad of Dwight Frye” where a child’s voice asks, “Mommy? Where’s daddy?” I’m sure my wife would say this song is cheesy but to me it is pure mood as the question is answered “I was gone for fourteen days / I could have been gone for more / Held up in an intensive care ward / Lying on the floor.” At six and a half minutes, the song tells an eerie story of a man barely keeping his sanity, dramatically feeding you bits and pieces at a time. A highlight is the creepy piano figure played while Furnier frantically screams “I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!” The tension is palpable. Then comes a brief instrumental passage of moaning guitars followed by lyrics that indicate he’s been released and when he sees “a man that was choking there / I’m glad it wasn’t me” it’s fairly obvious who’s to blame, especially as the song ends with him screaming “DON’T TOUCH ME” as he is being taken back. After the dark it’s only fitting that the album ends with the cover song* “Sun Arise”, a dessert to clear the palate. It serves a purpose but otherwise it’s the weakest song on the album, even if they do manage to make it their own with an exciting instrumental passage.

Rank: Essential Cooper

* As a side note, years ago when I purchased an alarm clock that also played CDs I swore that I would make a CD-R of the part where Alice screams out "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" and use it to start my day. Fortunately better judgment prevailed.

** Alice Cooper, the man and the band, has properly recorded*** only five covers during their/his career. These are: "Hello, Hooray" by Judy Collins, "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows" by Benny Goodman and his orchestra, “Pretty Ballerina" by The Left Banke, "Seven & Seven Is" by Love and "Talk, Talk" by The Music Machine.

*** That is, songs released on an official album. Bonus tracks do not count.

The Worlds Most Expensive Vegetables - Part 1

One of the best things about living in the country and having an acre of land is no long being confined to a twelve by twelve plot of land (plus feeble attempts to extend this via container gardening.) Nope, I get to spread out and REAAAALLY spend some bucks! In preparation I've spent hours planning and scheming via www.smartgardener.com, reading up on various techniques, and doing my best to heed the many warnings not to go too big too soon. As there are hundreds of children who call this plot of land their home, all of whom will likely want to eat, that's going to be difficult.

For openers I'd like to buy some $28 onions. Well, that's not exactly fair. For $28 I'll hopefully get 180 red, white and yellow onions plus a smattering of green onions. How so?

$10 - 2 boards
$5 - 2.5 onion sets
$1 - .75 cu ft manure
$12 - 10 plastic bags of garden dirt

I had to buy dirt because my soil connection said that his stock is currently either frozen or heavily invested in mud. I'm leaving out the cost of a handful of screws and the cardboard lining the bottom. Cardboard? Oh yeah... it's the secret ingredient! Because onions can go in early (2-4 weeks before Last Frost Date, according to my research) it will be the first to go in. I've been itching to get this expense, er, garden started but it's been cold. One day in very late March it actually flurried and had snow layered on the ground. Fortunately it all melted by the afternoon and the next day I had a frame built and filled and I was pushing wee onions into the dirt. Now all I have to do is sit back and wait for eye watering goodness.

LESSON LEARNED: You can buy those bags of tiny onions at Walmart or Meijers, $1.99 for 80, but they're small and tend to rot if not planted within a week or so. However if you go to Rural King they have open bins where you can pick and choose the size and exact number of tiny onions that you need for about half the price. Now if only there was a Rural King close enough where I didn't have to spend $5 in gas to save $3 in onions.