Monday, November 19, 2018

Rallys Eat-It-All #25: Bacontastic Burger and BBQ Bacon Cheese Fries

It's been a while, eh? However when Rally's puts up a sign that says "BACON FOR DAYS" I'm a moth to the flame.

Here's the Bacontastic Burger in all it's gloopy glory. A couple of strips -o- bacon and some bits of bacon and some cheese gloop AND a slice of cheese. What's not to love? Flavor-wise it's good but not mind blowing. The cheese goop is the problem... more goop than cheese.

And now... the end of the story.

Look at them. The BBQ Bacon Cheese Fries. They look good, don't they? And they tasted good. Going down. Not so good coming up. Four times.

You see, I went to Rally's during their off-peak time of freshness, approximately 2 PM. The employees are much less stressed than during the noon-time rush, when I normally visit. Apparently they are so relaxed that they don't care about washing their hands after using the restroom. I have a vague memory of having an upset tummy after visiting this same Rallys during off-peak hours in the past year but it was just that. This time was totally different.

I ate the burger on my walk back to work. The burger and the demonic fries have about the same ingredients so in all honesty it could have been either. But I blame the fries because as soon as I ate them they felt like a ball of goo in my stomach. And I knew I was in for some trouble. My body reacts quickly to food poisoning so within an hour I was starting to sweat and I visited the closest private restroom a couple of times, once even trying to make myself purge, something I've never done before. No luck. I was in this for the long haul. My fitbit tracker tells the story of my evening:

A is me walking willingly to my doom.
B is me walking as quickly to my car so that I could get home and lay down. In between A and B are the trips to the restroom, wondering when or if the horror would begin.
C, D, E and F and those horrors.

I'm still not sure exactly what item could have gone bad so quickly. These cheese sauce is an easy fall guy, but it was likely heated in a closed can with a pump. Which leaves the bacon. BACON! How could you turn against me, dear friend?

Which is all to say that I'm done with the Rally's Eat-It-All Series. There have been good times but now it must end. I will likely go back in the spring for their frozen deserts but certainly never again will I buy hot food from them after 1:00 PM.

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