Blame It On Miss Rigby

 

Blame it on that spinster Eleanor Rigby, but I’ve loved the sound of a cello for as long as I can remember.  In my late twenties, after learning how to play the electric bass, I really wanted to buy a cello for my thirtieth birthday.  However that was very early in the internet days so all I could find were cellos around $1200, both locally and online (Stringworks… why do you still tempt me so?) and so no cello.

One day, when I was a spry young lad in my early forties, I saw a guy play an electric cello at church.  Hmmmm….  I found the same cello online for a mere $300.  Now that’s a price I could take a chance on! 

In 1995 I learned the bass guitar on my own, messing around and figuring things out.  Again, this was before free lessons were everywhere on YouTube and I knew so little that I had to even ask I guy I knew how to change the strings.  There wasn’t much in the way of cello instruction on YouTube in 2015 either, so I mucked around in my usual way and made a few sounds.  I was able to get a decent sound if I wanted a simple, rough rhythm part on a recording (with lots of attempts and lots of editing) but I was far away from being able to play any kind of melody. 

But mostly the cello sat in a corner, making me feel only slightly guilty.

When covid hit and we were all sent home, I decided to practice it five minutes a day.  This went on for a week and I thought I was doing well until I watched some instructional videos and found that I was holding the bow wrong, that I was sitting wrong, that I was wrong Wrong WRONG!  I tried the “correct” methods and they didn’t feel right and it wasn’t long before that cello was back in the corner.  During this time, though, I did play it once at church, using my small bag of tricks and limited note ability for all they were worth.  There’s nothing like the prospect of public humiliation to make one practice.  I probably put in an entire hour of practice for that three minute song.

Last April I decided to stop sucking so much on the electric guitar and to buy a year of Tim Pierce’s online guitar lessons.  I started strong for a few months, slowed way down for a few, and then got my second wind, ending strong.  It really did make a difference!  Although I’m years away from being a real guitarist I’m light years ahead of where I was.

The “second wind” coincided with a video of a classical pianist who learned the guitar in a month.  She shared that although the style and techniques were different, the practice habits were the same for both.  One thing she shared is that it’s important to practice every day, even if it’s just ten minutes. 

A second habit I started was based on finding that someone’s dad used to pay him a nickel for every minute they practiced as a kid.  Sure, it’s only three bucks an hour but it’s a reward system that I could use to buy more guitar gear… guilt free because I earned it!

Somewhere during the last few months I decided that after the guitar lesson subscription ended that I would put my new-found practice habits to use on learning the cello.  May 2025 was going to be CELLO MONTH!

Let me first say that cello is waaaay more difficult than bass guitar.  Even getting a decent non-squeaky tone is a challenge.  It's now May 23 and so far I have practiced every single day, usually for twenty-five minutes but sometimes only ten.  The thing is that I’m showing up and working at it.  Being the dork that I am, it’s all on a spreadsheet… 508 minutes so far!  That’s nearly eight and a half hours (and $25)!  Wow!  I should HOPE that I’m improving!  My end goal is to be able to play the cello part from Eleanor Rigby as well as a cello part I wrote for a song.  There’s only about a week left and I don’t think I’ll be fluid enough to play either, but I’ll probably continue into June. 

Watch out, Yo Yo Ma!

 

 

 

 

friEND Update

It’s been a year since my last post, and also at least a year since I gave up on the “finding a local friend” thing.  And I can still honestly say that Since I Gave Up Hope, I Feel A Lot Better. (Thanks Steve… I know that’s not what you meant but the shoe fits).  There is still liberation in my withdrawal from society.

I realized that when I was a pre-teenager I spent most of my time alone doing creative stuff.  During my teen and very early 20s I had some friend time, mostly creating music or videos, but even then I would need alone time after.  Overall it seems that now when I have some free time, I’d rather spend it with my family or alone doing things I love instead of putting effort into trying to make guy friends.  I am fully embracing my lonerism… it’s best to lean into your strengths!

I think the dad-band played two, maybe three times in the past year.  If I can’t remember then that’s telling.  The first time was after an eight month break and was decent, possibly due to there only being the new guitarist.  The most recent was not so “decent” and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.  The previously absent guitarist is going deaf and blasted his amp right at me.  I asked him to move it and he did but it’s a small space so there isn’t much room for movement.  I would have asked him to turn it down but that’s just not rock ‘n’ roll!  Also both guitarists had loud hums in their amps, which isn’t normal but also didn’t add to the evening.  As a contrast, when I play bass or guitar along with recordings by myself in the basement, I come upstairs energized and refreshed.  I’m giving it time to make sure before I make the call, but it might be time for that season to end.  As it stands, I handed the reigns over to Mike a year ago so it’s up to him to put in the time to get us together so I’m sitting back to see how I feel when it finally happens, which due to his job will be at least another month.  Maybe my ear drums will have recovered by then.

Also in the area of the loner, in that past I’ve made intentional attempts to talk to guys at church, introducing myself and trying to make conversation.  Looking back at their reactions, it’s obvious no one was interested and they just wanted to go through the paces of church and leave.  So now at this new church, I don’t even try.  “Good morning” and a handshake during the brief meet and greet, walk in, walk out without trying to meet anyone, just like everyone else.  Church is supposed to be community?  Maybe for some.  As for me, nothing ventured, nothing lost.  And I actually like not having the difficulty of social interaction.

In the realm of work, there were three guys that I would occasionally swing by their office and chat with.  One is my age and the other two are quite a bit younger but have similar interests.  In all this time, none of them have ever initiated a conversation so I’m getting the hint and dropping that. 

I guess I’m not good at doing the friendship thing.  It takes effort and this well has done gone dry.  Why continue beating my head on a brick wall?  Hard like a stone.  A little contact every month or so and I’m good (Hey, Adam!  I really do appreciate you and am happy for you!).  I’m just not a “hanging out” kind of guy but felt like I should try because, you know, Christian fellowship. I don't feel that way any more.

 

friEND

 I think somewhere in Ecclesiastes it says “There is a time to plant and a time to uproot / A time to try really hard to make friends as an adult male and a time to give up.”  I’ve reached that point and I’m honestly not even sad about it.  Giving up trying to get this impossible brass ring has freed me of the stress and sadness of pining for what I don’t have.  It’s not happening and barring a miracle, it’s not going to happen so stop wishing and being sad that (e.g.) you don’t have antlers and get on with your life and enjoy the things you do have.

For decades I tried all kinds of things to make adult male friends.  I felt lonely because I didn’t have any and everything you read says how important it is to have a support system of peers.  So I studied what I call “friend theory” and would try to do the suggested exercises.  I would try to strike up conversations with guys at church or at my kids events and these other men would recognize that I’m “other” and remove themselves from the conversation*.  I’ve gone to men’s Bible studies for years at a time**, trying to talk to other men, and it eventually left me feeling worse because I could see other guys connecting with each other but I was still on the outside.  Well, I thought, maybe it didn’t work because I’m a music guy and “friend theory” says that relationships are built on x-number of shared experiences.  So for over five years I tried a dad/jam band, which at times was enjoyable as a pastime but musically left me unfulfilled because I can’t find anyone who likes the music that I love (or is even tolerant of it***) and so this year have decided to let that go as well.****  I get much more enjoyment from playing by myself along to a recording of songs I love than I do with playing music with other guys of songs that leave me tepid or worse.

For the past few months I’ve been content to just be.  I don’t have much, if any, inclination to try to build friendships and I even struggle to maintain the few relationships I do have.  There’s a guy I’ve known for a long time (who might be the only one reading this) who is back in the dating game so he’s radio silence.  And I totally get it.  Maybe that friendship will rekindle at some point but right now he’s busy with more important things and I’m extremely happy that he seems to have finally found a good woman.  I’m part of a FB group about one type of music that I love and was surprised to find that another guy in that group lives in my city (actually in the neighborhood next to me).  We met for coffee last weekend for about ninety minutes and it was nice to talk a little with someone who was at least familiar with the bands I like.  Maybe I would have been stoked a few years back but in 2024 I feel like it was just okay and that getting together again is more a feeling like I should than that I want to.  But it’s not a negative, just a lack of urging.

If this sounds like I’m depressed, I’m not.  I’ve been there before many times and this is not there.  I’m just… content to float downstream, I guess.  I’m tired of being tired from expending energy in this matter and so I’m letting go.  And it’s very liberating!

 

 

* I should mention that my personality type is INFJ, less than 1% of males.  “Oooo, an exotic and valuable unicorn!”  Nope, it means I don’t fit in.  Period.

** In fact I’m getting ready to head to one held at my work in a few minutes… and have been trying to decide if it’s time to call this one quits as well.  Six months in and nothing other than a little bit of small talk with one of the similarly-aged guys at the cafeteria.

*** The one except is having met “Mike the drummer”.  Although our musical tastes are different  he’s usually willing to try playing about anything that isn’t too complicated.  Of course I love prog music so there’s that.  But Mike is someone who would give you the shirt off his back and I’m glad to have him as part of my life.

**** Except it’s never that easy.  After 3+ months Mike (see above) wants to continue so I agreed for the sake of being a friend.  I’m setting my expectations uber-low and not spending much free time practicing.  I’ll just show up and wing it and hopefully not sing any Lynyrd Skynyrd songs.

 

 

The Most Invisiblester

I truly am invisible.  

 

I was recently part of a volunteer band where a video was being made. The first problem is that I play bass and non-musicians ignore this instrument. I'm only half joking.  

 

The strangest thing, though, was that they did six pass-throughs with three camera people each time moving around the band and getting close-ups and medium shots of the singers and band members. There were plenty of times where I watched a camera operator get right up into the drummers kit or park in front of the guitarist but, you guessed it, there was not a single time when any of the camera operators even pointed their camera at me, let alone came over for a shot like they were taking of the other musicians. Three people whose literal job it is to capture images of the moment completely ignored me not once but six different times, like I absolutely didn't exist! I wasn't hiding or hiding behind anyone, just standing there playing my instrument like everyone else. 

 

Normally I kind of laugh off my ability to be unseen but I’m having a difficult time shaking this one off.

 

 

1/15/2024 Update: It lasted a couple of days and now I'm over it.  The video was released today and it actually made me laugh. Do you know the part in Monster's Inc where the two main characters (I don't remember their names) watch a TV commercial and every time the green guy is about to get some camera time he gets blocked by something? That's exactly how the video was.  It was amazing!  Multiple times I would be behind someone and the camera would be moving and just when I would emerge from behind a singer they would cut to a different view.  Or the light was such that you could see my body but my entire head was in total darkness.  It was crazy funny!  But at least I was turned up in the mix and you could (gasp) hear the bass!  Most of the time it was louder than even the keys and the drums... a very unusual (and not very good) mix.

 

Rowin Fuzz Frenzy LN-322 - an inside look

 Maybe this is why I was surprised there were actual germanium resistors in the G-fuzz.  The Fuzz Frenzy sounds amazing and states that it offers "sounds of Vintage Germanium Analog fuzz" but when I cracked it open, there was no germanium.  Naughty, naughty rowin.  But like it said, it's still glorious fuzz tones galore!

Rowin G-Fuzz LEF-322 - an inside look

And so begins a new series where I show detailed photos of the insides of the (almost always budget) pedals I own.  I have no idea why I take apart my pedals and see what's in there.  I've tried many times to learn electronics and how circuits work and many times I have failed.

Here's the first pedal... a cheap Rowin G-Fuss germanium pedal.

 I was honestly surprised to actually see actual germanium transistors inside this $23 pedal (Motorola 2N404)!  It sounds fantastic... smooth and creamy and fuzzy.