It’s Time To Start Living Again

I think 2020 has been a rough on all of us (unless you’re in the top 1% in which case it’s apparently been very good to you financially). I’ve been working from home in my basement. It’s cold, dark, and isolating. But I’ve loved being closer to my family and being more of a part of their day. And at least I still have a job and never missed a paycheck (although I did miss my annual 3% raise). 

But anyway. 

Early on I watched a video where a pastor urged us to use this time to draw closer to God and indeed, I’m pleased that this has happened. My favorite place for prayer is out in my yard on a porch swing early in the morning. For some reason it just seems easier to connect. But it’s winter now and so I’ve been inside on a couch, smelling a litterbox and looking out the window instead of inhaling tree exhaust. 

After Christmas I got outside went for a little walk and returned though a field behind my house. As I walked past the porch swing I received the words “It’s time to start living again.” I didn’t audibly hear those words but the thought was very clear. I realized that I had spent most of the year waiting. Waiting to go back to my office. Waiting for the most recent governors restriction to be lifted. Waiting for election results. Waiting for things to go back to normal. 

It's time to stop waiting. It’s time to move forward, whatever that looks like. While this past year wasn’t completely bereft of creative endeavors, it was pretty slim. I’ve decided to record four songs in 2021 (probably without lyrics) and to write two short stories, along with finishing the bass guitar I’m building. And maybe starting another guitar? I also decided to stop waiting for homeschool field trips and activities to start up again for my wife and kids. I’m a natural organizer. I’m hardly extroverted but I’ve found that I’m usually only invited to things that I put together. Sad, I know. What it seems to me is that people are quite glad to attend an event as long as they don’t have to be responsible for it happening. At least that’s what I tell myself. Part of the issue we’ve encountered is that you don’t know who is afraid of whatever the media tells them to be afraid of (or what their media-infused friends and family say) and who believe in science. 

It occurred to me that my wife and I are in a, um, “free faced” group online so I posted something to see if there were other homeschoolers in the group and if there was any interest. BAMMO! So I made a different group and there are about twenty members. Our first event is in two weeks. 

One thing of note is that right after I made the group I was emotionally sunk for a few days, just feeling like I don’t contribute anything to anyone, wasn’t worth anything and was completely unmotivated. Then something my pastor said at church made a light go off in my skull and I realized that I was under attack. The enemy attacks you where you are the most gifted and effective and I believe an attempt was being made to neutralize my efforts to form this new support group, a group that would encourage and benefit not only my wife and children but apparently many others. 

So take THAT, dark spiritual forces!