The Great Pizza Adventure #6 - Little Caesars

Out of all the pizza places on my list, this is the one I feared the most.  It came out when I was in college, back when it was "Pizza! Pizza!" and you got two pizzas in a long box for just $5.  It was a deal even though it wasn't that great.  Over the years, when some school or church group has an event, they almost always pick Little Caesars.  My recollection of it is "It's okay pizza if it's free."

So here goes nothing.  Well, here goes $5.40.  Ordering was quick and easy, once the person in front of me finished her interminable ordering.  COME ON, WOMAN!  IT'S A LITTLE CAESARS!  When it was my turn the box was in my hand within seconds of payment being rendered.  KA-CHING!

No split pepperoni/sausage this time.  It's time for the big reveal:

 

Sorry about the shadows... it was nice and sunny! 30 pepperonies on a decently cut pizza.  It's also a full 14 inches.  So far so good, Little C.

 

First bite.  Um, who forgot to add the flavor?  On my second bite I got some sauce and that was actually pretty good with the flavor starting to peek out at me.  Perhaps bland is intentional so as not to scare off children?  The next few bites were not too saucy, not too greasy.  On it's own the pepperoni gave up it's flavor profile... mild.  Very mild.  Cheese was on the scanty side, enough to cover but there were some parts without cheese, not that it would have made much of a difference.

 

I went for a bite of the crust and Little C reached new lows.  There was absolutely no flavor.  Nothing.  Store brand white bread has more character than this.  And throughout the entire tasting the pizza didn't give up a single crunch.  It wasn't soggy, just lacking any character, pretty much just existing to hold the toppings.  It was so un-worthwhile that I didn't both to eat any of the crusts, leaving a bunch of pizza bones behind.  It weighed in at 35.25 ounces and normally I subtract the weight of the box but in this case I'm also subtracting the weight of the pizza bones.

I had low expectations and this pizza met my expectations.  It IS much better hot off the presses instead of sitting in a youth pastors car for an hour but still, I can think of a lot better things to buy with $5.

So how about those stats?

Weight: 29.4 oz / 25.10 oz w/o bones

Diameter: 14" 

Cost: $5.40

Service:9

Crust:1

Sauce:3

Toppings: 5 (quantity) + 1 (flavor) / 2 =3

Value: 10 (21.5 cents per ounce) / 3.5 cents per square inch

                  Overall Score:5.6

                  Flavor Score: 1.7

 

This is about the time I start to re-evaluate my scale.  This rated .1 higher than Dominoes but this is completely due to getting the pizza quickly and it being super cheap.  All the other numbers make it fall on it's face and yet it STILL beat Pizza King.  How does that place stay in business?  Now I'm having to go back and add a Flavor Score to all these, and it looks like Little C can't even keep up with Pizza King.  That's so sad.

This pizza was so devoid of flavor that I tried this Garlic sauce that I had picked up a few days earlier at Walmart.  Ah yes, finally a way to get gobs of Papa Johns garlic dipping sauce at home!  A splash of flavor is EXACTLY what this pizza needed.  Except that it wasn't.  This was a nightmare!  Bad to worse!  While the Little C pizza was bland, it wasn't offensive.  This stuff was.  It was extremely eggy, like someone sprinkled garlic powder onto a bunch of blended egg yolks and called it good.  Just plain nasty.