Confessions of a Weird Uncle

You may have already experienced it at Thanksgiving and will surely suffer at Christmas... maybe more than once: The weird uncle. But before you roll your eyes and try to think up a good reason for pulling slowly away (never make eye contact) let me remind you that being a weird uncle is not an easy task. In today's world, yesterday's conspiracy theories have an unsettling habit of becoming today's realities. Auditing the fed, a return to the gold standard, the Kennedy assassination and fluoride being harmful are no longer topics only heard out of the mouth of that ostracized uncle. No, it takes time and effort to maintain the "weird" adjective, researching and sorting through all the latest conspiracies, be it black-eyed children, FEMA camps, aliens working with government officials in bunkers under the Nevada desert, or the manipulation of our currency and a push to a one world order. So this Christmas/Festivus, when you see your own weird uncle, know that his ranting about aliens on the moon and doctored NASA photographs are the result of hours of research, and give him a friendly smile. Safely, from across the room.